eMbArRaSsMeNt

Did that really just happen? -I asked myself for roughly the sixth time. Here I was, discussing my future with these near-strangers and in my nervous haste to explain my decision: my throat dried up like a summer desert, it constricted and shrunk until I would have had a hard time sipping water through it, and my voice cracked. Full on, three-notes-higher kind of crack. 

What is the first response of those everyday, hustle-bustle people who slip and land on their butts after the first snow storm of Winter? They don't check themselves for injury. They don't look for that dreaded ice patch that caught them unaware. No, they jump up and immediately search for the witnesses. As my voice cracked just as I was beginning my "Why I want to be here" speech, I didn't carry on as if nothing had happened. I didn't pretend as if I had somehow meant to do it. I simply let out a little smile, hung my head, and braced myself for the oncoming ridicule from these: my future coaches and team mates. 

And Oh, they were relentless too. 

It seemed from that night on, they pounced on any and every remote opportunity to tease me. My whole life, the people around me have enjoyed poking fun at the silly things I say. (Regrettably, the list is a long one.) Now I know that I at least wont be missing that while on this new team... (Yippee?) 

I blush easily. 

Often times, just feeling multiple pairs of eyes on me as I walk into a room late will be enough to set flames to my normally pale, freckly features. The blood rushes to my neck and face so so quickly! Then, because I realize I'm blushing, the heat doubles (then triples) as the flush pulses an even darker red; like a traffic light -never losing it's shine.

I seem to speak before thinking though how my words will be perceived. This leads to various opportunities for those that know me to laugh about and deep, red flushes to creep up to my head like a thermometer.  This little habit reminds me of a quote from "She's the Man." It goes kind of like this:

            "When I'm nervous, I cant stop talking. -IT'S LIKE A DISEASE! One without a cure..."

My little tidbit of advice is as fallows: learn to laugh at your embarrassing moments; if you don't, others will and you'll just end up hesitant and afraid to live your life being yourself. Embarrassing moments can prove to be real life-lessons for the future! Learn to laugh and don't become over-sensitive and easily-offended.