oF mY dReAmS

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” 
― Dr. Seuss
I hope this quote holds true for my life someday.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” 
― H. Jackson Brown Jr.
This sounds simple, but it is so profound! I like how he made it a comparison to sailing; it really provides a clear visual/understanding of what he's trying to get across. Although I haven't been alive long enough to really have LIVED yet, I already see that this quote holds true in my life. This age is such a critical turning point for us as students! Recently, I have chosen to undergo some drastic leaps of faith. However, I am confident, and know of a surety that I HAVE made the right decision and that I will not regret this particular 'leap' I have chosen.

Quoting two amazing authors: 
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” 
― C.S. Lewis
I agree with this 100% and I feel that it is crucial for us to remember this even as we grow older. You are never too old to dream!
However, compare it to this quote:
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” 
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
I also agree with THIS quote 100%. We mustn't live only in our dream-worlds we create for ourselves. For although they may be beautiful and exciting and wonderful -exactly what we think we need, they do not allow for CHANGE; for LIFE. 
These two quote may almost seem to clash, but I don't think so. Lewis is talking about steps -goals -that we set and achieve in order to reach a dream. (A 'dream' in this case meaning something we've been training, working, LIVING to reach.) Whereas Rowling is simply reminding us to LIVE LIFE while we can and not to get so caught up in ourselves and our hopes. 

You want all your wildest dreams to come true? Go out there, and MAKE. IT. HAPPEN. 

eMbArRaSsMeNt

Did that really just happen? -I asked myself for roughly the sixth time. Here I was, discussing my future with these near-strangers and in my nervous haste to explain my decision: my throat dried up like a summer desert, it constricted and shrunk until I would have had a hard time sipping water through it, and my voice cracked. Full on, three-notes-higher kind of crack. 

What is the first response of those everyday, hustle-bustle people who slip and land on their butts after the first snow storm of Winter? They don't check themselves for injury. They don't look for that dreaded ice patch that caught them unaware. No, they jump up and immediately search for the witnesses. As my voice cracked just as I was beginning my "Why I want to be here" speech, I didn't carry on as if nothing had happened. I didn't pretend as if I had somehow meant to do it. I simply let out a little smile, hung my head, and braced myself for the oncoming ridicule from these: my future coaches and team mates. 

And Oh, they were relentless too. 

It seemed from that night on, they pounced on any and every remote opportunity to tease me. My whole life, the people around me have enjoyed poking fun at the silly things I say. (Regrettably, the list is a long one.) Now I know that I at least wont be missing that while on this new team... (Yippee?) 

I blush easily. 

Often times, just feeling multiple pairs of eyes on me as I walk into a room late will be enough to set flames to my normally pale, freckly features. The blood rushes to my neck and face so so quickly! Then, because I realize I'm blushing, the heat doubles (then triples) as the flush pulses an even darker red; like a traffic light -never losing it's shine.

I seem to speak before thinking though how my words will be perceived. This leads to various opportunities for those that know me to laugh about and deep, red flushes to creep up to my head like a thermometer.  This little habit reminds me of a quote from "She's the Man." It goes kind of like this:

            "When I'm nervous, I cant stop talking. -IT'S LIKE A DISEASE! One without a cure..."

My little tidbit of advice is as fallows: learn to laugh at your embarrassing moments; if you don't, others will and you'll just end up hesitant and afraid to live your life being yourself. Embarrassing moments can prove to be real life-lessons for the future! Learn to laugh and don't become over-sensitive and easily-offended. 

fEaR

Freedom and Fear

I am free and I’m Afraid

I Wonder if I’m broken

I hear the Stifling Rules offered by others

I see boxes labeled “can” and “can’t”

I want to Break All Limitations

 I am free but I am Afraid

I Pretend to be satisfied

I feel a need to Exceed expectations Always

I touch the present while aching for a future

I worry I am broken Beyond Repair

I cry more often than I have a right to

I’m free and I’m Afraid

I understand I have been given More than I Deserve

I Believe everyone has a Purpose

I Dream of a Blissful state

I try to Become More than I Am

I hope to have No Regrets

I’m free and I’m learning to be unAfraid

                            -tHiS iS a LiTtLe PoLm I wRoTe ThIs YeAr CoNcErNiNg FeAr

  

These are my feelings right now, as I face a huge cross-road in my journey in this life. It sounds more bleak than I'd thought it would. If you take a step back and really read it, you can see it's not so much about despair and fear; it's about feeling overwhelmed and stressed out but still learning, growing, and hoping.

Everyone has their own Fears, though I feel most people Fear rejection, being alone, not being "good enough," and not being accepted for who they are -myself included. I was introduced to a video that says we don't fear that we aren't enough; we fear that we are extraordinary. It's an interesting way to look at it and I encourage you each to search "Be Great, Powerful Beyond Measure" on youtube and read the whole thing, but here's just a bit of it:

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are Powerful Beyond Measure.......It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us." 

"You, me, or Nobody -is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can Get hit and Keep Moving Forward; how much you can Take and Keep Moving Forward. That's how Winnin' is done!"

So, lastly I'd like to leave you with this thought: 

Don't Fear Failure.

When you Fail, you learn; when you learn you grow.

Fear not Becoming who you were meant to Be, for there lies an inability to live life to the fullest.

Life is a Gift....Just don't forget to Live it.

My ThOuGhTs On CoUrAgE

           Courage
Courage has many forms.

The father who enforces the rules, regardless the consequences
The mother leaving an abusive relationship to safe the ones she loves
                         and herself
The boy who stands before disgruntled strangers to admonish and encourage them
The girl who covers herself properly
                         even if she will be shunned for it
The man who saves a stranger
                         even if it places him at risk
The woman who creates her own destiny, fighting the stereotypes
The student who leaves his/her friends because the content of their activity doesn't meet his/her standards
The brother who lives as an example to the people he loves
The sister who chooses to be alone in order to uphold her standards



           Courage (2)
Do you have the courage to stand up for what you believe?
Will you remove yourself from bad language, When the movie is "bad" will you leave?
Do you have the courage to do what is right?
When the time comes, will you step between a fight?
Do you have the courage to be who you are?
When the night gets dark, will you shine like a star?

Courage is something we all struggle to acquire
because we know its the difference when things get dire
between choosing the path that will
       make you
       or break you
It will teach you and guide you
and help you to remain true
to the path that we all wish we had the strength to follow
       the one that will have a high cost
       but will never -not ever -leave you wandering; Lost



"Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all." -The Princess Diaries

tHe TrEaSuRe Of My HuNt

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.                        
                   

-William Ernest Henley

William Ernest Henley: 

Birth: Aug 23, 1849

Died: July 11, 1903

From Gloucester, England

After some medical issues that caused one of his feet to be removed -and surgery on the other leg -Henley spent a lot of time in hospitals where he wrote free verse poetry mostly concerning his experiences with hospital life.

I don't know what to say about this poem other than it has significant sentimental value to me. I've had this poem memorized for the last 4 years and every year it has helped me to overcome the different challenges that are placed before me and become a better person because of them.
This poem is about being your own person; your best self. Taking the reins of life and jerking them in the direction You want to go.

It's about Rising above Overwhelming odds. And thanking whoever it is that you Worship that they have Given you such a Powerful Will so that Nothing can hold you back.

It's about strength and Withstanding all of the miserable circumstances that have been Thrust upon you. I particularly like the line: Under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody but unbowed." It shows that Even after the Beating you've taken, you are still Looking to the challenges that lie ahead.

You fear that the Future that is Beyond the place you are already in will be even Worse than the Horrors you Face now. However, you challenge both, head-on; daring them to give you cause to truly be afraid.

It doesn't matter how easy it will be, You Will ControL your Future and Be who it is You want to Become.

It's about being unstoppable. 

my OuTloOk

Tomorrow is Hope. Even when the current day is so dreadfully Stifling, there is always Hope that Tomorrow will bring something New -better -brighter. Today is Suffocating; stuck in a prison of Limitations and rules. Tomorrow is Freedom; freedom for Success and for Failure. Yesterday is Regret but also Delight, Fear and Bravery, Hurt and Healing.

As You glance at Yesterday, you scream at your Stupidity, weep with joy, and find Humor in your choices, All At Once. See yourself as you Were and wonder at what made your Heart feel that way. The biggest thing you see when glancing in Your Past, is the Growth you have undergone in order to get to today. You can See your experiences with Fresh Eyes. You Understand more of The Bigger Picture. you LearN. and through LearninG, you Grow.

Tomorrow, oh how we Look to Tomorrow! Tomorrow is Freedom from Today and the Ability to indulge your greatest fantasy. Tomorrow is the time for dreams. When some Tomorrows are stained by plans that would cause you to Dread going to Tomorrow, always remember that Tomorrow will continue to Be Tomorrow. The Tomorrow you fear will become Today, and then a new Tomorrow will shine even more brightly in comparison to the Today you face.

Today is what you Get

By learning from yesterday, and looking to tomorrow, we are able to more fully utilize today.