Saturday, April 20, 2013

tAleS oF fAiRiEs


    


Beastly is a modern day retelling of the story The Beauty and the Beast. It is the story of a rich, popular, good-looking boy who in his arrogance and selfishness insults a witch. She gives him a curse that he must find someone to love him by a designated date, or remain mutilated forever. What are areas we as human define "beauty?" Is it our hair, our unblemished skin, or something else entirely? The witch strips him of everything he had though beauty was. His father sends him into isolation with only a blind tutor and maid for company. The young boy must rediscover what true beauty is and hope against the odds that he can find someone to love him despite his scared and deformed body.

Will he succeed?

This is an amazing movie staring Alex Pettyfer and Vanessa Hudgens and I highly recommend it to all of you, my classmates. Look for ways it mirrors the classic story and get inspiration for your own stories!

MeMoRiEs


Our pasts hold memories we can learn from. We learn things we need to work on, things we want to do again and again, things others did that we wont do, or things done to us that we would like to do to others as well. Two people I have learned a lot from are my Mom and Dad. Our past together has shaped how I see others around me and the world. There are many things they have done that I never want to do but there are also things that they have done that I want to mirror exactly.

My dad and I had a "Daddy Daughter Date" when I was six years old that I still remember. My dad let me pick a movie (I still remember it was Cats and Dogs) and then after enjoying a treat and some popcorn, we came back home to eat dinner together. Daddy set up a tent in the back yard -with my help of course (or more of my hindrance). We laid on the trampoline to watch a meteor shower and look at the stars. When my eyelids grew too heavy to keep open, my dad helped me into the tent and we spent the rest of the beautiful evening in there.

I think it is so important for parents to spend time with their children. This was just one example of a simple night that I have never forgotten. It meant the world to me. I remember having read-a-thons with Mom for hours on end. She would gather snacks and treats for us to munch on while reading in our pajamas book after book after book. My parents' effort and time they put into playing with me has shaped who I am and what I enjoy. This is one area of my past that I am going to learn from and do my best to fallow their example with my own future children.










Thursday, March 28, 2013

UnTitLEd

      "Wow Alice; your hair is so pretty!" Amanda gushed as she attempted to stroke the dark, unruly curls that tumbled to my waist. 
      Her fingers got stuck halfway down and I had to help her free them before saying, "Thanks. Your hair is just like Mylee's. And my mom's. Okay, pretty much my whole family!" I laughed. "I love it." My family all has varying degrees of light brown-to-blonde hair that is as straight as a board, just like Amanda's. Which really isn't that surprising considering she is my cousin. 
       "Yeah, nothing unique about me." She sighed. I quickly caught on to the conversation we'd had many times before. I opened my mouth to protest but just then the bell shirked signalling the end of our lunch and -like clockwork -Tony came scurrying up to walk us (and by us, I mean: Amanda) to class. 
        "He thinks you're something special." I muttered to her just before he reached us. I was rewarded with an elbow to the gut though her repressed smirk showed she was grateful for the attention. 
        "Hey Amanda." Wait for it... "Oh! Hey Alice." Yeah, like he just realized I was standing here? We both gave polite hellos but today I wasn't really feeling like sticking around as a third-wheel (again), so I turned to Amanda and said, "Okay, I guess I'll see you in Biology." Then I turned on my heel and headed the opposite direction to go to my next class. 
        She wouldn't mind; she said she had no feelings for Tony, and yet, as he threw himself all over her, she accepted it; as if boys fawning all over her was something to be expected. She did claim insecurities regarding her appearance, saying everyone in our family looked the same (which was mostly true if you didn't include me) so she was nothing special. However, here in our tiny town in Colorado, she really did stand out.  My family consisted of blonde-haired, blue-eyed, and a splash of freckles across the nose that stood out among our dark hair, dark eyed, and tan skinned classmates. 
         My pale skin and green eyes might have made me stand out, but nobody ever reacted to me the way they did to my cousins and siblings. I was ignored and though I pretended I was alright with it, inside I felt a longing to be accepted and wanted. I attempted to shake off my feelings of self-pity as I walked into my English class and went to my seat in the front row. I didn't realize someone was sitting there until I was nearly sitting on them, I was so engrossed in my thoughts. 
         "Oh." I huffed, coming to a sudden stop in front of it. I didn't know the boy sitting there. Doing a quick glance around at the other seats, I affirmed that this was indeed third period and my English class. Yep. So who was this guy?
         "Speechless?" He asked as he leaned back in his chair. "I often have that effect." He stretched and I saw exactly what he was talking about. Thick muscles wound around his arms (well at least thicker than any from around here) and his black v-neck shirt hugged tight to his chest leaving nothing to the imagination. I was stunned. What was I supposed to say? I had always prided myself at having a quick tongue on the soccer field. For smart mouth girls I always had a ready retort; why couldn't my mouth form words for this arrogant new kid sitting in my seat?
         Abruptly, he leaned forward. "See something you like?" he whispered looking straight into my eyes. Many people wouldn't look directly into my eyes because of how unusual they were. Not only were they the only green eyes at my school, but they were also hidden within the wild dark curls of my hair. His eyes seemed to be holding back laughter -no doubt in reaction to my startled expression. But they also seemed to hold a challenge for me. Whatever that challenge was, I didn't have the slightest idea.
          Just as I was about to utter a real classy, "No!" in response to his insinuations, the tardy bell rang and I jumped a foot high in response. The smile that was hidden in his eyes now flashed tauntingly across his whole face. And still his eyes dared me to do something about it. 






Questions answered in passage:

  • Name: Alice
  • Age: 17
  • Physical Description (feel free to find a picture): tall; green eyes; long, dark, curly hair
  • Location (Where does he/she live?): Colorado
  • Goals/Desires (What does your character want?): To be wanted
  • Weakness/Insecurities: Her unusual appearance. Caring what others think.
  • Pet Peeves: When girls pretend to not like boys obsessing over them and lead them on. Arrogance.
  • Strengths: Speaks her mind. Mature for her age.
  • Habits: Sits in front row in English class. Comforts friends' insecurities.
  • Family Life: Loves her family but feels like an odd-ball.

My LiFe ThE jUgGliNg AcT

Each and every day is busy
Sleep, Eat, Run around
dont drink anything fizzy
don't get to see the crowd

Because every second
is scheduled in
every opposition
a force to be reckoned

with For it will hurt
and I will cry
At times I'll smile
but in others I'll shy

away from friends I
wish I had
hoping to change my point of view
I'll just end up mad

When not mad or stressed
I simply wish I was asleep
then I would do my best
but my rest I cannot keep

My eyes tire quickly
my feet and legs hurt
my tummy feels sickly
and my words are short and curt

And yet I endure it well
although where it will end
I cannot tell
this juggling act I don't recommend




mY fEeLiNgS oN sChOlArShIps:
My fingers will continue to twitch as if typing on a phantom board, 
but to skip this process, I just can't afford. 

Shortly, I'll be in need of a blood-transfusion; 
my forehead will permanently be creased in wrinkles of confusion. 

My eyes will continue to squint until they're stuck shut; 
this computer chair may very well end up being a part of my butt. 

I may never again breathe fresh air;
it's likely I'm losing a ton of my hair. 

My nails are short, my eyes blood-red; 
all of this to "get ahead?" 

All of this for the unclear promise: 
maybe, one day, I COULD end up with money for college. 
Scholarships + Pain = synonymous!

A sHiFtInG mOmEnT


     "I am Alice and I am embracing my Destiny."
     Saying it out loud made it real. I looked around to enjoy the sights and smells that were taunting me. The air snapped like a whip as it pulled at my long dark hair. It blew snowy ash all around me, dusting everything that used to be green and alive under layers of it. Under the smell of the recent fire, I could smell the sent of my home. It was everywhere, begging me to change my mind -pleading with me to stay here in the wild mountains of Colorado forever. The rising sun peaked out from behind the San Juan mountains, its warmth licking at my face; a new start -a fresh day if I just stayed nestled in the meadow and helped to regrow the beautiful flowers and grass that at one time would have surrounded me. The sounds of a shallow stream to my right, as it gurgled on to meet the lake at my feet, called to me, reminding me of happier times. I closed my eyes so I would no longer see this place; my meadow. Even if my eyes were shut to it, my eyes heard, my nose smelt, and my heart felt it still.
      The longer I stood there on the large moss-covered boulder at the edge of the lake, I began to hear and see a different message. I remembered when it wasn't dead and burnt to a crisp, but instead: fresh and alive and teeming with wildlife. It seemed that the first rays of sunshine were now an offer of hope, promising a warm feeling of comfort and peace. The stream bubbled a thank you to me for all the secretes I had shared at its banks. The smells of home (under the recent death the fire brought with it) seemed to slow the rapid pace of my heart, and even though my choice hadn't changed I felt my confidence growing, knowing this was the right decision. Even the wind that whipped my hair across my face no longer felt as if it was trying to tether me to the meadow. No, now it felt as if it were a gentle caress of an old friend saying goodbye for the final time.
       As I stepped off of that rock, I saw the new budding growth of a flower at my feet. It grew in the most unlikely of locations; pushing its way up through the rocks at the lake's edge. The sun's light was blocked and it seemed to be growing through sheer force of will. Nothing I could do would ensure its success, but as I crouched down to examine its new life, it gave me the final push I needed to solidify my choice. If this small flower could change its fate by overcoming the dire circumstances laid before it, then I too would trust that by doing my part, everything would work out for the best. My friends and family would be okay. I was doing this for them; for their futures -so they would have futures.
       I took comfort from the only home I'd ever known and that one seemingly insignificant flower. I turned my back on my past. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done but I knew it was crucial to the survival of everything and everyone I'd ever known.
        For them, I would walk away to my Fate -my death -willingly.
                                       And I wouldn't look back.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

LiTtLe GrEeN mOnStEr


I am a very bubbly, outgoing type of person. I am super friendly and sometimes I just happen to be friendly to people of the opposite gender. Not that I mean anything by it!! My mom is the same way. I guess what I'm saying is... I'm kind of a flirt? I don't think so.. I think it's Friendly, but others say it's Flirty.
Sorry, but I had to preface with that because the experience that comes to my mind concerning Jealousy happened two years ago.
There was this guy, (original, I know) we both liked each other but I wasn't old enough to date so we stuck with the whole, overplayed, "just-friends-who-like-eachother" thing. See, because I was so sure of myself (since I knew HE liked me -and that's all that I cared about) I was constantly talking with others, lifting them up and visiting and such. So it turns out, Tanner whoops, did I say names? was crazy jealous and just a wee bit possessive. It led to us "parting ways" and caused more turmoil in my life than I had ever had to go through at that time.
From this experience, I learned something about myself. -and something about my future husband too: he would have to be confidant in himself; otherwise, he'd think I was flirting with every guy I saw...

sEaSoNaL








"My nerves evaporated like water on a hot Summer afternoon...





...My fear melted away like the snow in the Spring time..

 ...My resolve hardened as quickly as ice in Winter..





 
  
...And my perspective changed like the leaves in Autumn; into something beautiful."















~an excerpt from my final project.






Sunday, March 10, 2013

oF mY dReAmS

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” 
― Dr. Seuss
I hope this quote holds true for my life someday.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” 
― H. Jackson Brown Jr.
This sounds simple, but it is so profound! I like how he made it a comparison to sailing; it really provides a clear visual/understanding of what he's trying to get across. Although I haven't been alive long enough to really have LIVED yet, I already see that this quote holds true in my life. This age is such a critical turning point for us as students! Recently, I have chosen to undergo some drastic leaps of faith. However, I am confident, and know of a surety that I HAVE made the right decision and that I will not regret this particular 'leap' I have chosen.

Quoting two amazing authors: 
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” 
― C.S. Lewis
I agree with this 100% and I feel that it is crucial for us to remember this even as we grow older. You are never too old to dream!
However, compare it to this quote:
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” 
― J.K. RowlingHarry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
I also agree with THIS quote 100%. We mustn't live only in our dream-worlds we create for ourselves. For although they may be beautiful and exciting and wonderful -exactly what we think we need, they do not allow for CHANGE; for LIFE. 
These two quote may almost seem to clash, but I don't think so. Lewis is talking about steps -goals -that we set and achieve in order to reach a dream. (A 'dream' in this case meaning something we've been training, working, LIVING to reach.) Whereas Rowling is simply reminding us to LIVE LIFE while we can and not to get so caught up in ourselves and our hopes. 

You want all your wildest dreams to come true? Go out there, and MAKE. IT. HAPPEN. 

Sunday, March 3, 2013

eMbArRaSsMeNt

Did that really just happen? -I asked myself for roughly the sixth time. Here I was, discussing my future with these near-strangers and in my nervous haste to explain my decision: my throat dried up like a summer desert, it constricted and shrunk until I would have had a hard time sipping water through it, and my voice cracked. Full on, three-notes-higher kind of crack. 

What is the first response of those everyday, hustle-bustle people who slip and land on their butts after the first snow storm of Winter? They don't check themselves for injury. They don't look for that dreaded ice patch that caught them unaware. No, they jump up and immediately search for the witnesses. As my voice cracked just as I was beginning my "Why I want to be here" speech, I didn't carry on as if nothing had happened. I didn't pretend as if I had somehow meant to do it. I simply let out a little smile, hung my head, and braced myself for the oncoming ridicule from these: my future coaches and team mates. 

And Oh, they were relentless too. 

It seemed from that night on, they pounced on any and every remote opportunity to tease me. My whole life, the people around me have enjoyed poking fun at the silly things I say. (Regrettably, the list is a long one.) Now I know that I at least wont be missing that while on this new team... (Yippee?) 

I blush easily. 
Often times, just feeling multiple pairs of eyes on me as I walk into a room late will be enough to set flames to my normally pale, freckly features. The blood rushes to my neck and face so so quickly! Then, because I realize I'm blushing, the heat doubles (then triples) as the flush pulses an even darker red; like a traffic light -never losing it's shine.
I seem to speak before thinking though how my words will be perceived. This leads to various opportunities for those that know me to laugh about and deep, red flushes to creep up to my head like a thermometer.  This little habit reminds me of a quote from "She's the Man." It goes kind of like this:
            "When I'm nervous, I cant stop talking. -IT'S LIKE A DISEASE! One without a cure..."
My little tidbit of advice is as fallows: learn to laugh at your embarrassing moments; if you don't, others will and you'll just end up hesitant and afraid to live your life being yourself. Embarrassing moments can prove to be real life-lessons for the future! Learn to laugh and don't become over-sensitive and easily-offended. 


Tuesday, February 26, 2013

fEaR



Freedom and Fear

I am free and I’m Afraid
I Wonder if I’m broken
I hear the Stifling Rules offered by others
I see boxes labeled “can” and “can’t”
I want to Break All Limitations
 I am free but I am Afraid
I Pretend to be satisfied
I feel a need to Exceed expectations Always
I touch the present while aching for a future
I worry I am broken Beyond Repair
I cry more often than I have a right to
I’m free and I’m Afraid
I understand I have been given More than I Deserve
I Believe everyone has a Purpose
I Dream of a Blissful state
I try to Become More than I Am
I hope to have No Regrets
I’m free and I’m learning to be unAfraid
                            -tHiS iS a LiTtLe PoLm I wRoTe ThIs YeAr CoNcErNiNg FeAr
  
These are my feelings right now, as I face a huge cross-road in my journey in this life. It sounds more bleak than I'd thought it would. If you take a step back and really read it, you can see it's not so much about despair and fear; it's about feeling overwhelmed and stressed out but still learning, growing, and hoping.

Everyone has their own Fears, though I feel most people Fear rejection, being alone, not being "good enough," and not being accepted for who they are -myself included. I was introduced to a video that says we don't fear that we aren't enough; we fear that we are extraordinary. It's an interesting way to look at it and I encourage you each to search "Be Great, Powerful Beyond Measure" on youtube and read the whole thing, but here's just a bit of it:
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are Powerful Beyond Measure.......It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us." 
"You, me, or Nobody -is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can Get hit and Keep Moving Forward; how much you can Take and Keep Moving Forward. That's how Winnin' is done!"

So, lastly I'd like to leave you with this thought: 
Don't Fear Failure.
When you Fail, you learn; when you learn you grow.
Fear not Becoming who you were meant to Be, for there lies an inability to live life to the fullest.
Life is a Gift....Just don't forget to Live it.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

My ThOuGhTs On CoUrAgE

           Courage
Courage has many forms.

The father who enforces the rules, regardless the consequences
The mother leaving an abusive relationship to safe the ones she loves
                         and herself
The boy who stands before disgruntled strangers to admonish and encourage them
The girl who covers herself properly
                         even if she will be shunned for it
The man who saves a stranger
                         even if it places him at risk
The woman who creates her own destiny, fighting the stereotypes
The student who leaves his/her friends because the content of their activity doesn't meet his/her standards
The brother who lives as an example to the people he loves
The sister who chooses to be alone in order to uphold her standards



           Courage (2)
Do you have the courage to stand up for what you believe?
Will you remove yourself from bad language, When the movie is "bad" will you leave?
Do you have the courage to do what is right?
When the time comes, will you step between a fight?
Do you have the courage to be who you are?
When the night gets dark, will you shine like a star?

Courage is something we all struggle to acquire
because we know its the difference when things get dire
between choosing the path that will
       make you
       or break you
It will teach you and guide you
and help you to remain true
to the path that we all wish we had the strength to follow
       the one that will have a high cost
       but will never -not ever -leave you wandering; Lost



"Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all." -The Princess Diaries

Saturday, February 2, 2013

tHe TrEaSuRe Of My HuNt

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.                        
                   

-William Ernest Henley


William Ernest Henley: 
Birth: Aug 23, 1849
Died: July 11, 1903
From Gloucester, England
After some medical issues that caused one of his feet to be removed -and surgery on the other leg -Henley spent a lot of time in hospitals where he wrote free verse poetry mostly concerning his experiences with hospital life.

I don't know what to say about this poem other than it has significant sentimental value to me. I've had this poem memorized for the last 4 years and every year it has helped me to overcome the different challenges that are placed before me and become a better person because of them.
This poem is about being your own person; your best self. Taking the reins of life and jerking them in the direction You want to go.

It's about Rising above Overwhelming odds. And thanking whoever it is that you Worship that they have Given you such a Powerful Will so that Nothing can hold you back.

It's about strength and Withstanding all of the miserable circumstances that have been Thrust upon you. I particularly like the line: Under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody but unbowed." It shows that Even after the Beating you've taken, you are still Looking to the challenges that lie ahead.

You fear that the Future that is Beyond the place you are already in will be even Worse than the Horrors you Face now. However, you challenge both, head-on; daring them to give you cause to truly be afraid.

It doesn't matter how easy it will be, You Will ControL your Future and Be who it is You want to Become.

It's about being unstoppable. 




Friday, February 1, 2013

my OuTloOk

Tomorrow is Hope. Even when the current day is so dreadfully Stifling, there is always Hope that Tomorrow will bring something New -better -brighter. Today is Suffocating; stuck in a prison of Limitations and rules. Tomorrow is Freedom; freedom for Success and for Failure. Yesterday is Regret but also Delight, Fear and Bravery, Hurt and Healing.

As You glance at Yesterday, you scream at your Stupidity, weep with joy, and find Humor in your choices, All At Once. See yourself as you Were and wonder at what made your Heart feel that way. The biggest thing you see when glancing in Your Past, is the Growth you have undergone in order to get to today. You can See your experiences with Fresh Eyes. You Understand more of The Bigger Picture. you LearN. and through LearninG, you Grow.

Tomorrow, oh how we Look to Tomorrow! Tomorrow is Freedom from Today and the Ability to indulge your greatest fantasy. Tomorrow is the time for dreams. When some Tomorrows are stained by plans that would cause you to Dread going to Tomorrow, always remember that Tomorrow will continue to Be Tomorrow. The Tomorrow you fear will become Today, and then a new Tomorrow will shine even more brightly in comparison to the Today you face.

Today is what you Get

By learning from yesterday, and looking to tomorrow, we are able to more fully utilize today.